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In his heart of hearts, Dracula was a softie.

  • In his heart of hearts, Dracula was a softie. He spent his downtime knitting wool koozies for tubes of blast-frozen blood and sketching ideas for marshmallow shapes. No one knew
  • that he'd almost killed himself when he was walking with the knitting needles. He'd tripped over an extension cord and jammed it into his gut. Dracula was clutzy
  • when he wasn't in bat form. It'd been so damn long since he'd been a human. Since he'd been born. Alucard was beside himself with embarrassment as his dad got ditzier every decade.
  • His dad ate russian food like he never left moscow.
  • Which he did not. His dad also enjoyed frequent bouts of vodka with two ice cubes in the glass, and a zing of lemon zest. What his dad had not told him, was that he was a gourmet c
  • onnoisseur. In fact his dad was so skilled in the tasting of food, he frequently received requests of the Queen of England to be her royal custard taster. Her Majesty ofcourse
  • never really ate the sweet dishes, but she couldn't offend the Royal Custard Guild. That is how he and his dad came to meet the best baker in London: Zachary Brown. Zachary had a
  • small custard shop Kensington Gardens, known for it's delicious honey-rose egg flan. It was around this time that the Royal Custard Guild was searching for a new official Royal
  • custard dish for the Royal Tea.Their tasters fanned out across London looking for the perfect custard but the shop with its honey-rose egg flan was named "The Queens an Olde Bag"
  • the butcher didn't care and was arrested for Treason amongst the follow man and for disgrace of the Royal Party.

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