"I have in my hand The Last Burrito." He

"I have in my hand The Last Burrito." He paused for effect as he displayed it to the TEDx audience. "This, ladies and gentleman, is The Burrito of the Eschaton." They gasped and st
rode up one by one to see it. The burrito was huge and tightly packed. Some of the filling was oozing out onto its paper wrappings. Each TEDx attendee was handed a tiny fork and
urged to "poke a hole or two in your opponent!" to get to the immense burrito first. Now, the TEDx site was strewn with the chipper wounded who egged on the surviving fork wielders
. Why did I get a wimpy crab fork? and it wasn't even pre-chilled.I fenced with the others for a chance at the grand burrito prize & wondered why I paid 500$ for a TEDx talk with
a disgraced Ortho Man. 500$ could have bought a shitload of perceived injustice, especially if you knew who to get them from and he knew who. Boy did he know who.
He dialed the number and pressed call. He was sent to voicemail, and in a fit of anger he threw the phone on the ground and stomped on it. He decided to take his business and 500$
and go see a therapist for anger management. "So you go ballistic every time you are transferred to voicemail," said Dr. Goodfeel, "That is actually quite normal." "But I break
their necks by speaking a powerful mantra into the damned voicemail. When they hear it their necks break via augmented resonance. They've got my phone number Doc!" Dr. Goodfeel put
both of their phones in his paper shredder, causing it to make horrible grinding noises before smoking and bursting into flames. Unfortunately, only Dr. Goodfeel made it out alive.
The moral of this story, kids, is to never trust apps that you didn't download from the Apple Store or Google Play. They might just burn your house down.

Started: 2016-04-09 10:32:34
Finished: 2023-01-10 07:57:10

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