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What is the point of being a cannibal if

  • What is the point of being a cannibal if all the restaurants are vegan?
  • I tried to justify myself as I cooked the chef of "The Broccoli Forest". Maybe I will finally enjoy his last meal.
  • I feel guilty as I stuck my mouth into his ribs, and tore off flesh, gobbling it down. Later I threw up, because his body was already rancid and animated by a robotic s
  • ound effect. The sound effects department were playing all the wrong sounds over the sequence of film. The chomping of a salad by ladies lunching sounded like horses munching
  • on ladies lunching on salad. This film would be a flop. But when Floyd the Producer played it for the test audience, it was a smash comedy! Floyd kept the fact that it was a thrill
  • er to himself. Psycho Death Rattle killed in the theaters and Floyd made a mint. For his next project, Floyd decided to make a comedy on purpose. He thought it'd be called Bubbles
  • for Netanyahu, a satire of the Likud and Israeli politics in general. Three weeks later, he was in Tel Aviv facing a Mossad interrogator with a face like a golem. The pitch hadn't
  • lowered in puberty. The Mossad interrogator spoke in falsetto, causing him to have to laugh. Oh, he tried to hold back, but the interrogator's voice was like he sucked helium!
  • "Who sent you?" the helium-voiced Mossad interrogator asked menacingly, pointing a dagger at the prisoner's convulsing throat. The prisoner giggled. "I...mmph...your voice...it's
  • like 'The Chipmunks go to Guantanamo Bay'!" I know, it's not PC, but then real life rarely is. The shamed Mossad carved his spaghetti into the prisoner, your grandfather.

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