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The alluring appeal of alliteration rendered

  • The alluring appeal of alliteration rendered Ed's eulogy effectively illiterate. The congregation cringed as Ed began: "Bob began banging busty Broadway broads before beginning big
  • orexia ballooned Bob's biceps beyond body building buff. " Bob's widow Bertha looked at his hulking form barred before the Bishop & bawled. Ed's english major was finally paying of
  • -fice boys to make finger sandwiches. The English Major had served in the Queen's royal army in a little skirmesh over vegamite. Now he'd turned Ed's office boys into a troop of
  • nancy boys they were ready to dance on broadway. Ed's boys sold tickets around the office. The English Major coated his face in Marmite and ate a jar of Vegemite before
  • discovering that Australia was no longer settling accounts with China in $US. This undermined the entire premise of the ballet, and Ed had to scramble to refund each of the hundred
  • squirrels in the audience with 20 acorns each. Now that Australia was paying China in dingo meat, effectively bypassing the financial system as we know it, ballets got grittier &
  • more volatile. Votes could be swayed with a menacing glance in the right direction or a well-timed email consisting of a series of hilarious cat photos. Some would say that anarchy
  • would have been a better alternative to this broken democracy, but the internet giants of Reddit, YouTube et cetera would have none of it. They controlled the flow of cat videos.
  • In this broken dystopia, a hero emerged. The Cat Burglar had one goal: liberate cat videos from the monopoly of Internet giants. She declared, "Cat videos are a right!
  • It is both my duty and an honor to FREE THE CAT VIDEOS!" And she did, with no pussyfooting around. Hooray for The Cat Burglar!

2 Comments

  1. Scribbly Jun 18 2015 @ 01:34

    Alliteration! I knew there had to be some word for my "Frederick fished" fold, but my google-foo didn't cut it. Now I know.

  2. 49erFaithful Jun 18 2015 @ 15:40

    Now you can tell everyone you're alliterate! ;-)

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