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Captain Shmuro tightened the bolts on his

  • Captain Shmuro tightened the bolts on his new EG coil's mounting bracket as he endured the wittering of his sole paying passenger, Mme Lettucia Vinagretta of the EconoZone. Shmuro
  • couldn't stand singlecell eaters & Mme Lettucia's whining about her in-trajectory meal tasting like culture scraped from a petri dish was the last straw. Capt. Schmuro pressed ejec
  • t and with an unpleasant falsetto squeal, Mme Lettucia was launched fifty feet into the air, still buckled to her plane seat. "Captain, you know passenger parachutes were scrapped
  • in favor for beanie propellers, and Madame's head was too Romaine..." whispered the air hostess through the side of her mouth. Mme Lettucia bounced twice then twice more, head over
  • core over head again. "Excuse me Mme Lettucia, but in this country an undressed lettuce in public is frowned upon. You are going to have to cover yourself or leaf. I'm sorry I mean
  • to say 'Fuck off.'" If it was good enough to say to Captain Picard, it was good enough for a sentient head of nudist lettuce. Out in the alley, a PCP fiend stabbed her a whole lot.
  • Then the vegetarian PCP fiend made a gorgeous salad for all his PCP fiend friends in the alley. It had been a very unhealthy day for the nudist lettuce, but a very healthy day for
  • getting troutfaced on dust. Once they came down off the three day high, the group realized that they needed to pool their resources, plant a garden, and really re-commit to
  • wearing the one trenchcoat. None of them liked being on the bottom or the middle. They wanted their head to be the one people saw. Plus it was easier to breathe. Bartholomew dealt
  • the final blow as he landed a sucker punch on to the supply teacher's forehead. They toppled backwards on to the concrete, as a bunch of kids came to gather. "You did it!"
Started
2015-01-18 04:30:11
Finished
2025-10-23 01:58:34

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