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Apple won a partial victory today in it's

  • Apple won a partial victory today in it's patent lawsuit against Anne Hathaway and her Catwoman costume. "We are pleased that the judge agreed with us," said an Apple spokeswoman.
  • Then the Apple spokes woman called Steve Jobs who was still living on an Island with Bruce Lee and Heath Ledger. Steve said, "Ok, time to sue Apple Jacks for trademark
  • enfringement" as it's difficult to distinguish hideously coloured cereal from shiny gadgets. God spoke "Steve Jobs, Bruce Lee & Heath Ledger, your time is up. Will you all just lea
  • ve the talents I gave you over in that box over there & exit the premises immediately?" God pointed to a one-way elevator, going down. Steve, Bruce, and Heath wanted another chance
  • at the Heaven-7 Casino. But God was a dirty dealer, and he lorded over every gaming table. Steve always drew 22. Bruce had snake-eyes. For Heath, red was black -- and vice-versa.
  • So Bruce tempted Heath to imbibe Steve with a loaded apple martini. Bruce was playing the wrong kind of rummy in God's casino, so thugs broke Bruce's legs & evicted Steve & Heath.
  • "This guy is hammered," one of God's thugs said, pointing a fat finger at Heath. "Make sure he drinks plenty of water before bed" Steve helped the now-crippled Bruce up, "You. sir,
  • are toast." Heath gave Bruce a sip of water while Steve prepared a bed for him. God flew away on his carpet of thugs who fell back into the pits of hell. When he awoke, Bruce was
  • half his normal size and acting like an angry chihuahua. Heath & Steve tried to hold him down but he had manic strength. "I must find God!" yipped Bruce. "He flew away." Bruce ran
  • out and started looking to the sky. "Come back !" he yelled. He did so for a few good hours. Then he thought that not receiving an answer is also an answer. One hard to process.

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