Brother Wallace awoke in a strange and peculiar

  • Brother Wallace awoke in a strange and peculiar place. He was in a darkened room with the only light coming from a dim magenta lit hallway. "Where am I" he pondered
  • "Where are you, indeed," said a raspy voice. "Who are you?" Wallace asked. "I am the warden." "How did I get here?" The warden chuckled. "Shall I refresh your memory?"
  • "You made me. I'm your creation, a cybernetic mind fully built with Chinese food leftovers and hairs collected on the bathroom carpet." Wallace freaked out. How could this be?
  • Then Wallace remembered making that wish for his birthday. It's not every year you wish for your Chinese food left overs and old hair to come alive and be your best friend.
  • But his wish did not come true making him very depressed. He ran away from home and went to join an army of garden gnomes. Dressed in a pointy green hat, he prepared for his raid
  • by making a farewell video for the folks back home. "You might be wondering why I 'm dressed as a gnome," he said. "Well, it's a job & if the raid's successful we share a pot of go
  • ld fish. Love me some gold fish. But Puffer fish shouldn't be in snackfood. A wee drop o terratoxin ruins your whole day. Hence the gnome disguise. When you see this video our raid
  • on toxic snacks will be well under way. If you see any fishy looking garden gnomes, don't be alarmed. Also mind the puffer fish quills lying scattered on the ground
  • next to the Aids infected pretzels, the arsenic encrusted Christmas cookies, and the mustard gas coffeecake. Be careful snacking you snappy dresser you!
  • Because you are what you eat. Now slow down, chew, and for God's sake, put on some socks. And if your nose is still in place, don't cut it off, pick it instead.


Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!