There once was a boy who wanted a friend.

There once was a boy who wanted a friend. He wasn't sure how to go about asking someone to be his friend.
The boy had a series of index cards with lines to use in conversation. "When greeting a new friend always compliment a feature." he read. "Nice trapper-keeper." he mumbled.
The index would be a useful tool as he entered middle school. He was able to use them to make quite a few friends and influence his teachers. One day the boy used a card to
deliver a baby. Not just any baby, but a "Yeah, baby." He rode on that awesomeness until Dorito's went back to their original chip flavors. That's when he finally enacted his big
gest reform at B.O. Begone. Garlic scented Odoreaters would now be mandatory for all coworkers. His personal assistant Elvira refused.
She argued that doing so would violate the company's founding idea. "But Elvira why do you always look at the dark side of all matters. Just think of the bottom line sometimes."
Elvira started an instagram page for the company. It was designed by Mr. Butters, who used a lot of elbow grease to create the effect of flying U-Bahns in the background. Suddenly,
there was hysterical laughter in the distance. The laughter grew into a terrifying sound, one of a wicked and deranged sense of humor. Laughter that causes young children to
hide behind their mother's dresses and grown men to tremble. Yet they could never know where the monster responsible for the ugly laugh resided. The villagers picked up torches
and ran to a cave from which they heard the laughter. "You idiots," came a voice from the cave, "You can't torch a cave!", then more ugly laughter. The villagers were defeated.

Started: 2014-02-07 20:14:28
Finished: 2017-10-12 16:00:35

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