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It's a true tale worth retelling. That of

  • It's a true tale worth retelling. That of Ichabod and Susanna. Let their demise not be wasted, for their mistakes should not be your own. Recall their meeting upon the wharf at
  • Illyria. They were boarding a ketch bound for the Spice Islands, there to make their fortunes in mace & nutmeg. Ichabod & Susanna were married by the Captain crossing the equator
  • and everyone on board was in attendance, including Posh, Baby, &Sporty, who were making their way back home. Ichabod & Susanna were in a blissful haze after their nuptials, but
  • their honeymoon ended suddenly when an immense asteroid collided with the moon. While an amazing curiosity to the ignorant majority, Ichabod and Susanna found the incident ominous.
  • But they ignored it like every other married couple. Ichabod and Susanna intuitively knew what all couples know, any acknowledgement of ominous signs is the opposite of love.
  • Susanna was the ultimate master of this. When Ichabod would stagger home at 3 a.m. caked in lipstick, he wouldn't register on Susanna's visual spectrum. Total ominousness denial.
  • Unfortunately Susanna was not a master of visual perception, so she had to get her eyes tested. In the middle of the night she crept past Ichabod's room and out the door to visit
  • The eye doctor, who was also a witch. Susanna obtained special glasses and had 20/20 vision the rest of her life. Ichabod never figured it out because he slept through it all.
  • "O Susanna, o don't you cry for me," the eye/witch doctor would sing whenever he thought of his great success solving Susanna's eye problems. Then he would dance around the fire
  • with his basket full of little field animals, plucking their eyes out and throwing them into the flames one creature at a time. Great power comes with great sacrifice, Susanna.

1 Comments

  1. Rebbie Oct 05 2016 @ 16:21

    This story rocks!

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