"Pick up food here"

  • "Pick up food here"
  • read the sign. So I picked up the carrier bag & looked inside. There were plastic bottles filled with blood & a note that read "Have a good day at school Edward, love mum."
  • I passed it off as tomato juice at school lunch but around fourth period Sally Jenkin's neck sitting at the desk in front of mine was looking too good not to bite
  • with my fangs. But that blasted kid was sitting in the sunlight. I wasn't going to take a free meal at the cost of burning my face to ashes. I'm not taking that risk. I'll wait til
  • sundown and bite down on that blasted kid's wrist, making him suffer. What's really going to make it worthwhile is making him listen to the band Kittie while I do so.
  • Kittie was made up of a bunch of teenage catwallers from Luton who pretended at deconstructive absurdism but were really just poor readers. None of them could play an instrument.
  • So their whole first album, entitled "Hell Oh Kittie" consisted of Kittie McClure pounding a rock on a dead fish, while the other band members complained loudly about the lack of
  • oxygen inside their fish-mixed-with-barf smelling tour bus. Though the critics called it “EAR DUNG,” the fans loved “Hell Oh Kittie, and made it a Gold debut album. Kittie McClure
  • went spastic while being interviewed by an influencer who insisted on only asking questions about her various breast enhancements. Within an hour the news was that Kittie McClure
  • , as she was now called, had changed her name from Katie! How dare she do that without consulting her fans?! An angry mob converged on her house & she was dragged to the stake.


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