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Roger Ebert looked at the woman across the

  • Roger Ebert looked at the woman across the bar, Annette Fonicello. He raised his glass in a toast. She smiled. Then Margaret Thatcher arrived, "Am I interrupting?"
  • "Not at all, Maggie." replied Roger. "Annette & I were just discussing how there are some things you just can't practice, like zooming in a jet-propelled one-man rocket suit."
  • "I'm getting my jet-propelled one-man rocket suit license tomorrow. I'm a little scared, especially with the Newton's Folly portion. Maggie, any pointers?" asked Annette?
  • Maggie was the first Sister of the Rocket Scientist Nun convent to obtain a one-man rocket suit license. She knew all about Newton's Folly. "That's where the man rocket scientists
  • admire passes everything to an alcoholic cockfighter who mortgaged his inheritance away." She thought about that as she dressed for the day.
  • There was something extraordinarily alluring about cockfighting, and the alcoholism only sweetened the deal. Her costume as some kind of superhero prostitute would hopefully prove
  • easy to remove. Suddenly BLAAM! feathers everywhere. She wasn't a superhero tart (tho' it's an easy mistake) but animal rights hero! She stuffed pacified cocks into her bodice and
  • left the chicken coop as quickly as possible. As she hid behind a large scrub bush outside, waiting for her moment to bolt, she vowed to always protect her avian friends. Suddenly,
  • from behind her, she heard a chattering. The squirrels had come back to finish of Bertha and she knew that wasn't gonna happen. "Not on my watch, bub!" She picked up the pitchfork
  • that she...didn't...have. Well, it was an honest mistake (I guess), & the squirrels were upon her in a heartbeat. They cracked her skull just like a walnut & feasted on the goo.

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