Ordinarily, I would eat my meat before eating

  • Ordinarily, I would eat my meat before eating my pudding, but on this one particular day, when Vanilla Crème was the pudding flavor, I acted extraordinarily and ate my pudding 1st.
  • The taste was amazing, my body shivered and my brain exploded with every taste. The sensation was somewhat horrifying. This.. this isn't how pudding should taste! "What is this!?"
  • I looked down at the tasty pudding. Did I just see eyes looking at me? I tried to call the waiter but my tongue froze. A voice in my head said, "Eat some more. Delicious aren't I?"
  • "Yes indeed, my dear pudding, you are quite scrumptious in fact! However, my doctor insists I stop eating sentient desserts." I called to the waiter and asked if they had any
  • more napkins. "My sentient chair doesn't like it when I wipe my hands on it," I explained. The waiter looked at me strangely and then darted back to the kitchen. The sweet smell of
  • a sudden bonfire hit my nostrils. The source of the flames coming from a screaming chair. I stared in confusion.
  • "Oh my God! Pee-Wee's Playhouse is on fire!" I yell. As I run for help I see Randy the bratty marionette disappearing into the jungle. He hasn't noticed that he too, is on fire.
  • The stench of pubic ball hair reminds him of why he is who he is a hypochondriac always puting input where it is irrelevant the jungle braced and invited randy with all of its dark
  • coffee. Coffee! Randy woke with a start, feeling crotchety, as those behind him honked impatiently to move ahead. He lurched forward & slurred his order: "Grande, black, 2 stevia."
  • But he got a shot of corn mash like all the other geese. As he waddled back into the pasture he wondered if the bizarre day dream he'd just had wouldn't have offered a better fate.


  1. SlimWhitman Dec 08 2017 @ 02:29

    How can ye have yer puddin' when ya dint eat cher meat?

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