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I took my wedding ring off and rubbed the

  • I took my wedding ring off and rubbed the suntan lines around my finger. I set the ring next to my wife's photograph--like I've done every night since she passed. She use to say
  • "Never take the only proof of our marriage off your finger. I want the world to know you're a taken man." I used to laugh then. Little did I know that even in her after life
  • her voice still carried over to me. At first, after the funeral, I couln't hear anything but my own grief. But when I took off my ring and threw it across the room in a rage
  • , I could have sworn she whispered in my ear: "I lied when I promised 'unto death do us part'. I shall remain your wife...forever." Her ghostly hand caressed my hand & I shivered.
  • I tried shutting my bloodshot eyes. Counting sheep. Praying. I pulled the covers up over my head. When I peaked out, she was still hovering above me, smiling. "My Love," she
  • purred. "Gah! Leave me alone, I don't have any food!" The cat didn't budge. "But I love you," the cat repeated seductively. Creepily. It started to remind me of my ex-girlfriend
  • Phoebe, who sat at my feet and begged for cream in a cup. She especially liked the long walks we used to take in the hills behind our house. The last time I saw her
  • she revealed her secret. "I am not a dog" she said, "I am a drill and my tail is a power cord." I caught myself glancing at a jogger's ass so I knew I was not dead, yet for some
  • Reason the postman's nightmare didn't begin until they gave him a letter from "silent night" to be delivered to 573 George Street, apt. C. This was a century old building said to
  • contain more missing letters from more songs than any other century old building on the block of which this was the only one. That didn't stop it from bragging though.

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