Ordinarily, there is more to do at the mall.

  • Ordinarily, there is more to do at the mall. With all my friends busy, I decided to visit Victoria Secret. I am enamored by the detail in the mannequins. So sexy, but this one was
  • the most intriguing mannequin of all: so androgenous. I stared at it, imagining it wearing a suit and tie, then pink lingerie, then a speed-o, then a bikini. I was getting flushed.
  • People were looking. But I couldn't help myself. I grabbed the mannequin by its sultry hips and began dressing it. First in an Armani suit. Then an Abercrombie sun dress. "What are
  • the indecent exposure laws for mannequins?" I asked a mall cop as I changed it into a Victoria's Secret thong. "Don't worry about it," he said. "You're a young man in love."
  • I snorted. "That's easy for you to say. You didn't wake up naked in a Hot Dog On A Stick." I put the thong in my shirt pocket and scanned the area. Where was the mall directory?
  • She replies with "The mall directory is in C:\, and why did you take my thong?". She adjusts her glasses fixating her vision on the Corn Dog, she takes it out of the box and
  • microwaves it until its petrified. It makes the corn dog last longer she says. She "grade A" dork, but I love her. I think its the glasses. I say, "Your thong is jammed in
  • the ice maker and I really need ice for my orange juice!" She didn't know what i was talking about since she only wore granny panties .
  • , when what I really wanted was granny patties! She let out a little shriek as I dragged her to the grinder. She seemed pretty resigned, however, and it made me suspicious
  • until I realized that grandma had hoof and mouth! Mad granny disease had spread across Mexico. I had to put her frothing wrinkly ass down with a shotgun and go hungry that night.


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