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"Congratulations Ma'am on becoming 120. Can

  • "Congratulations Ma'am on becoming 120. Can you share the secret of your old age?" "That's easy. Avoid death." "Could you um.. elaborate?" "When he visits the home, I'm not here."
  • "He? Who is 'he'" I asked,trying to get this 120-year-old BABE to dish on her secrets of longevity."You know, the Big Man. I'm just not here when He comes around the home."she said
  • and then vibrated on the wall, until she was floating. Her eyes twinkled and a white light flashed out her mouth and I could tasted copper and smoke from my hair. The ancient Babe
  • Was reincarnated some four years later as a great story folder. Her folds were among the best ever. Her brother folded stories too, under a pseudonym.
  • He remembered vague memories from his past life, and wrote them into his stories: a purple ribbon, a gap-toothed grin, hair bright as fireflies
  • the squalid hovel we shared with a stoat, cleaning that turkish bath in San Francisco, that pink comb in the corner of that San Diego street by the tracks and the homeless guys. He
  • loathed the hellhole that was California, but this was his penance to the Porcelain Goddess for taking a dump in the toilet store. Once this task was finished, he could move onto
  • another path, one that would lead him not unto another toilet store, but outward, away from such temptations. He wandered the wilderness for a few years, his only friend being a
  • used wax ring...which he used, quite frequently, when he needed to evacuate into a place not plumbed for evacuation. First, he'd clear a spot, somewhat modestly hidden from plain
  • foliage or any available cover, perplexing passer-bys with his twisting and scratching. Then he'd squat until he was comfortable, haul the hose over a forearm, and let loose.
Started
2013-01-26 14:31:28
Finished
2019-01-18 16:53:25

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Woab Jan 19 2019 @ 14:48

    I cackle, utterly mystified. so this is how you live to be 120?

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