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Midnight. The mortician pumps fluid into

  • Midnight. The mortician pumps fluid into another dead body. He hears something behind him. He turns around. The Old Woman is sitting up. Mouth open, a beetle crawls out.
  • Ringo brushed off the phlegm and said "I caan't seem ta find a deecent pleece ta hide from you chaps can I?" Mr. Asp the mortician was delighted. He propped Ringo next to Frank
  • Sinatra on one side and James Dean on the other. Sinatra wasn't too happy about it and said 'I did it My Way and you've gone and ruined it. James Dean was not amused either.
  • "You're tearing me apart!" James shouted and crossed his arms. Marlon Brando leaned in and said, ''Oh man, you're square. I'm gonna have to straighten you out."
  • "And after I straighten you out, I"m gonna have to teach you a lesson you'll never forget." Marlon Brando was starting to sound a lot like my mother. Next he'll be telling me to
  • find a nice man because the clock's ticking and she'd like to appreciate her grandchildren while she can. I said, "Marlon Brando, NO!" Butt out of my reproductive organs!" Marlon
  • was desperate & offered to pay for sex. I had him arrested & adopted Granny a hyper dog that I fed sugary treats & sent loud toys for Christmas & birthdays. My ovaries were safe or
  • sorry (I forget which) and my Granny was annoyed enough by the hyper dog to finally agree to go to a retirement home. That meant that I had to take care of the hyper dog, but it
  • Took care of me too. It was a mutual benefit. Hyperdog became my secretary. He answered my phone in a humanoid voice. My friends thought I had lost my mind. I had not!
  • It's just that I felt comfortable going about the rounds of everyday life without the restrictions of cultural blinders on my sensorium, I thought. "I hear you!" said Hyperdog.
Started
2014-07-29 16:02:23
Finished
2016-10-29 16:07:56

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 30 2016 @ 10:07

    Asp the Mortician skulks about in the FOldinG StOry Site this time of Year... 'Twas the night before Halloween http://foldingstory.com/s3d6p/ The English channel dead men from the Seine http://foldingstory.com/4drq3/ Celebrity revival http://foldingstory.com/7c2jc/ and here's one of the many Mortician's assistant stories just for kicks... http://foldingstory.com/0atko/

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