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I realized I had a speech filter issue after

  • I realized I had a speech filter issue after my boss said "Good morning Wally" and apparently I said "Sure, I'd love to sleep with you". There were other incidents.
  • At Starducks, instead of ordering my usual double decaf latte with skimmed soymilk, I only realized it didn't come out that way when Dolly looked at me wide-eyed and I heard the
  • FCC sirens buzzing. They knocked aside a duck mascot handing out flyers and strapped me down. A man in a mask prepped a bar of soap for oral insertion as another read me my rights:
  • "You have no right to remain silent. Everything you have self-censored, or omitted will be extracted in the court of the mind." The Federal Commission of Conscience targeted my
  • mime credentials. It was unfair that people had a right to free speech but not for free silence. I tried to give the Thought Police the slip but I kept running in place.
  • Then I got all kinds of schtik from the Dance Police because apparently the Running Man is not 'authorised under section 9 of the Global Dance Step Agreement (GDSA)'. Man! I switch
  • hit so I can date men or women. I'm a dance criminal. I go around to clubs and create dance mayhem as part of mission to rule
  • the disco floor. Ofcourse the destruction I cause all appears unintentional. My theme music is "Panic! At the Disco". I spike the punch and my platform shoes crush the ladies daint
  • y heeled pumps, all the while the gals wobble around trying to keep their balance. Acting innocent, I say, "Whew, that was some mighty gust of wind that just blew in here!"
  • That ruined the picnic, because all the parishioners groaned in disgust and recognized my reference to flatulence right away. Divine miracles, my ass. More like hell's bells.
Started
2011-11-28 18:05:52
Finished
2013-06-07 20:09:36

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