Slowly my vision blurred. The pills were

  • Slowly my vision blurred. The pills were kicking in and the blood began to gush from my arms. Was I really ready to die? I wasn't so sure anymore.
  • But courage is not the refuge of the weak, or the cowardly. I AM ready to die, I muttered as I rose to my feet and painfully trudged over to my nemesis who stood there, waiting for
  • Dorothy to wake up from her poppy-induced coma. Scarecrow looked innocent enough, but I, the Lion, knew better. Grasping my tail in pseudo-insecurity, I signaled Tin Man by
  • mistake.What I really meant was to get some of those poppy-seeds for myself.Afterall,I am the Lion...I'm king!Dorothy had her share and I was not
  • in a good position to take the wicked witch's urine test. I'd smoked a lot of pot with the tin man last night. If I ate the poppy seeds, then if I failed the test, I could always
  • find the urine of a virgin dormouse to substitute as my own. But when I crashed the Mad Hatter's Tea Party, no urine was to be found. I woke up the dormouse & asked him to piss in
  • front of a webcam while people watched, providing a concrete finale to the idiom- "If i had $8.99/mo every time someone liked to dress up like an FEC animatronic or school mascot."
  • The local theatre group sponsored them and they had a website of their own. it was a huge success! It went viral, faster than the Queen could catch and eat flies in the house.
  • The cook said, "We must go see Rosencrantz and Guildenstein, your lady!", while throwing the baby to the footman.
  • The cook was picky about his babies. This one was a nice plump one.The footman casually bagged the baby, for next week's meatloaf surprise.


  1. Flopp May 05 2016 @ 13:59

    Baby cow that is. Jeesh I'm not a barbarian... but baby taco sounds nice

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