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Where am I? I awaken to find myself not in

  • Where am I? I awaken to find myself not in my bed, but floating orb above what looked like an elaborate room. Something had whisked me away from home. It was probably
  • some elaborate scheme by the whiskey witch. She'd whisked me off on a number of fool's errands & pipe dreams. Despite being elaborately furnished with Biedermeier furniture the orb
  • -iter was highly impractical (2 lightyears per gallon!). I spent most of my rewards on fuel, but such was the life of an intergalactic mercenary. Whiskey Witch's next job for me
  • involved skimming the iron surfs of Alar-Trum. I need the rewards but my ship isn't equipped for that kind of duty. That means I am going to have steal
  • first grade plasma conductors from the prison moons of Driar 1 and then find a way to attach a tractor beam that could bear the weight without pulling the ship down. Time to call
  • the West Mississippi Plastic Pants Task Force who'd been harboring tractor beams for just such an emergency as towing plasma condoctors from Driar 1's prison moons. The ship needed
  • an argantine-izomodine fuel mix of class 37 purity before they could power it up, but no one knew what that meant. The captain threw his hat on the table in exasperation and
  • near gave up, when the first mate whispered in his ear. The captain blushed and had everyone clear the room- then tinkled into the receptacle. The ship shot ahead, breaking records
  • of velocity, both of the ship *and* the captain. It turns out the captain was both fast in the pants and the deck, much to the disappointment of the first mate, who was Jewish.
  • His grandfather persuaded him the pickled herring was the cats pajamas despite it looking gro,s. The revolution continued, now at higher speed. Captain Egypt was traumatised.

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