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Nobody ever asked how the sidekick felt.

  • Nobody ever asked how the sidekick felt. It was always 'build this' and 'research that' and then boom, bang ant huzzah - the hero got all the credit. Well, Bob would change that.
  • For Bob had a social media-based plan that would earn him tons of fame and would likely mark him down as the greatest and most popular sidekick in history. It started with this:
  • Step 1: Create Clickbait posts that are sure to get views and followers. Step 2: Ask for donations and post actually decent stuff. Step 3: Use the popularity to run for president.
  • Step 4: Build up a base of gullible supporters by gradually making increasingly outrageous claims. Step 5: Refrain from giggling. Step 6: After winning the presidential election,
  • phone every person you were jealous of in high school and break the good news. Step 6: SOS the White House that as the new Prez you'll need a Jacuzzi in the family theater. Step 7:
  • Obtain the nuclear launch codes and threaten to start a nuclear war unless your old crush agrees to be your first lady. Step 8: Get a dog. A good president needs a good dog. Step 9
  • Have the Veep Potty train the dog.The last thing you want is the POTUS Dog leaving doo doo's in the Oval Office. Step 10. Pick a fight and start a war before reelection. Step 11.
  • Undercut every time that you can. Reoeated uppercuts will wear your opponent down faster than a poorly delivered jab. Step 12. Abscond with the Lincoln Room's chamber pot. Step 13.
  • Insert chamber pot on left foot and walk down the boulevard with a bag on your head. Step 14. Collect cash from passers by who feel sorry for you. Step 15. Enroll in the finest
  • dog finishing school, preferably one that also teaches French. Step 16. Find a millenial then find the grimiest phone booth you can. Introduce them to each other."The End is Nigh!"
Started
2018-05-09 13:09:22
Finished
2019-06-22 04:54:59

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    IceSquad Jun 24 2019 @ 16:22

    Shortly after the appearance of this story, the Count from Sesame Street showed up at my door & was like: "Vot voz I teaching you all zose years?!"

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