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The USC scout stalked the talent show. He'd

  • The USC scout stalked the talent show. He'd heard rumors of a girl who was "born to hula", and he wasn't one to pass up a chance at a prodigy. Just last year, a hopscotch prodigy
  • had hopscotched all over his dachshund. High heels. Punched the the little pooch flat as Indian fry bread. The USC scout picked up his dog with a spatula and
  • Flipped it until it came back to life. Which it did after several attempts at cpr. The animal police arrived and arrested the dog thief. The USC scout was glad his dog survived!
  • But now his trained thieving dog was in jail. The dishonest USC scout sent him a dogfood pot pie with a pair of lock picking tools in the crust.
  • He never got the dog-food potpie because the guard checking for contraband got hungry and ate it, lock-picking tools and all. So the dog cooled his heels in jail for awhile, doing
  • his 'business' along the front of his cell, where the breeze would lift the stench away. "What a smart doggie!" said Melinda MacTavish, "Mommy, can we adopt him?" Her mother gazed
  • at him angrily. "A DOG IS TOO MUCH WORK FOR ME!" \
  • So I became a cat! A lovely calico tabby with enough scars to seem interesting but not too many to be scary. Maybe Bad Ass but still a scary pussy. Every day was about maximum plea
  • sure and little consideration of my slaves- err... owners and eating quality food for free and taunting the dogs. Best of all, I got to take lots of naps. Life is good.
  • I leapt up onto the sunny windowsill and stretched luxuriously, letting out a lazy yawn. I settled in for the first of many, many naps in the gentle heat of the afternoon sun.
Started
2012-11-15 20:55:58
Finished
2018-05-18 00:33:09

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman May 18 2018 @ 03:20

    The Life of a Cat seems better than The Life of a Dog.

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