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A coffee mug flew across the room, crashing

  • A coffee mug flew across the room, crashing against the kitchen wall. The pots & pans rattled overhead while the oven door open & closed repeatedly. My kitchen was haunted by
  • Julia Child, whose spirit jealously guarded her old kitchen. I had 9 dinner guests coming in 2 hrs & was up to my elbow in the goose when the bunson burner lit itself & attacked.
  • The bunson burner was haunted by the ghost of a spoiled pork chop that had been named "Kakon" but Loki.
  • Patricia had been scared of it for a while now - it would start screaming whenever she came into the room, yelling out "Yggdrasil, yggdrasil!"
  • One day she decided to try something. She, full of fear, shakily slid a bonsai in a pot across the floor to the creature. The creature stared at it, stared at her and back again.
  • "What do you want me to do?" the creature asked. She said in a fearful and tiny voice: "Eat it." The creature looked at her strangely. "This is a bonsai plant. I'm alergic to this"
  • In which case she had to quickly substitute something after finding out this was the only plant the creature was allergic to. "Just a moment!", she replied. She conferred with her
  • friend the Mushroom Crone (a green witch), who suggested to substitute liverwort, and that seemed to work better for a while, until the creature began to complain to her of
  • really needing a mandrake between her nether regions. The Mushroom Crone recognized her mistake and offered as an excuse that nobody thought those prophecies were possible.
  • But they were. The mandrake between her nether regions was supposed to save her, counteract the Amulet, The Hand, The Evil Eye placed upon her by the Malocchio Twins... it failed!

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