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Grandpa was at the casino. Nothing kept his

  • Grandpa was at the casino. Nothing kept his mind off of his impending doom quite like Sinatra played on loop in a room without clocks. He gambled away his gas money, then his car,
  • a real gas-guzzler if there ever was one, so that was okay, really. Except now Grandpa wasn't sure how he was going to get home from the casino in time to watch Jeopardy and Wheel
  • of Disaster. In his senility, he was less about Jeopardy trivia than Trebek's wondrous 'stache. But Wheel of Disaster was a different story. Grandpa would squeal when contestants
  • spun the wheel. The contestants would cup the wheel's round curve and that would send Grandpa through the roof. They'd give a good tug and his eyes would light up. The highpoint
  • was when the wheel would slow to an agonizingly slow click, each peg passed ratcheting up the tension until it would stop and Grandpa would experience total release.
  • Then he would groan like a moose in heat and turbo flush 3x. Thank god she'd had the japanese toilet with the stretching rack installed for his 90th thought grandma. He so enjoyed
  • cross-cultural toilet studies. They were fodder for ongoing research for promotion and tenure and (God knows), just about anything could be studied and restudied to increase one's
  • general knowledge of human waste, but despite the clear academic value of these toilets, the department of cross-cultural toilet studies could never have predicted that they would
  • change the world in such a way. In fact, these toilets were so life-changing that the second you placed your posterior onto one, a unicorn visited you and gave you a high five.
  • My god, who knew what brought us together would be what we felt so much pleasure in separating from ourselves, that the throne of daily duty would save us all. Fart.
Started
2013-07-15 18:16:16
Finished
2015-11-30 14:42:23

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Nov 30 2015 @ 19:56

    Sorry, how could i overlook all the glaring clues! Wheel of Misfortune. We must have rerun!
  2. Avatar

    hamstak Dec 01 2015 @ 14:58

    Or a re-spin, if you will.

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