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... and we will throw the vegetable peeler

  • ... and we will throw the vegetable peeler for free!" He finished his spiel. The folding chairs were empty except for way in the back, a lone figure waited in a trenchcoat."Hello?"
  • It was a representative from the trench coat maffia. The rep asked the salesman, "No this juicer, how many would you need for say...you know...something as big as a human
  • carrot?" the salesman raised an eyebrow "Well, I reckon for such a big carrot you would need my new Heavy Duty XTra Juicer XL! You are in luck my friend! This little baby is
  • tough as a nut. It can juice nuts too by the way. In fact, I can't think of anything this miracle of modern science can not turn to juice! And all that healthy goodness for just
  • 9.95$ plus shipping & handling. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back! I ordered the Juicer & juiced gravel & corn husks. The gravel juice made my voice gravelly & husky.
  • But I was hoping for starchy & husky, so I ordered the juicer's potato sandwich attachment on layaway. I threw in some rasp-berries to maintain my gravelly man-cacophony and some
  • gooseberries for raspiness. Finally I squeezed in a banana just because I can. I put it on pulsating power blend with integrated reverse thrust & poured it down the sink. I hate sm
  • oothies but get a thrill outta my blender. It's therapy, really. I've juiced every single one of my past partners in that blender, dumped 'em down the sink. No one will ever know.
  • And even if they do, it'll never show. So fuck, let it go. Do a bowl of blow. When I'm high I glow, tell bad bitches to go slow. I be kickin it solo. I met Serpent Turpentine, he w
  • as a dawg, man, he was like, you bi-atch, right up in my grill, fo shizzle, my nizzle. He said: "You sound ridiculous". I said: "Yes, I know. Sorry". We laughed.

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