There was a story claimed the "Greatest Story

  • There was a story claimed the "Greatest Story in the World." But when Dr. Bushwhacker revised it, the claim was proven wrong.
  • Because the greatest story in the world was in fact the greasiest story. The greasiest story in the world was titled
  • My So-Called Life: A Teenage Acne Drama. In 1997 a new contender for greasiest story entered the arena. Boasting several exquisite oils and and a Slip'n'Slide, the story, titled
  • After the famous commercial where Jimmy O'Neill demonstrated Clearasil at a sink during the show he hosted. He held up the pad to the camera and one could see the dirt on it.
  • "Eww!" came a sudden outburst off camera. Jimmy was incredulous. "OK CUT!" yelled the director. "Everybody, take five." He walked up to Jimmy on set. "What EXACTLY are you
  • doing?" "Um.. improvising?" The director backed Jimmy into a wall. "I don't know what Julliard you fell out of but no more method acting, kapeesh?" Jimmy dropped the bloody knife.
  • "Sure! No problem!" said Jimmy. "Say," the director remarked. "Where'd you get the fake blood from anyway?" He knelt down and picked up the bloodied knife. "Yeah IDK!" said Jimmy.
  • Jimmy's eyes flickered shiftily. He couldn't let the director work out where the blood REALLY came from, so he ducked down to the costume store to buy some and kept the receipt.
  • When he returned, he told the director his cover story. "Oh, that's nice" is all the reply he got. He didn't even need to show the receipt.
  • Dejectedly he began his long walk home. On the way he noticed a bus headed for Cleveland, and in a rare show of spontaneity, he leapt aboard, never to be seen in that town again.


  1. SlimWhitman Oct 06 2018 @ 15:35

    It seems Jimmy's got a case of the spontaneities, or perhaps the story was just Dr. Bushwacked.

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