"Look, I'm sorry, I just really like swords!"

  • "Look, I'm sorry, I just really like swords!" I stammered. "You killed 19 people!" My friend, Frank, bellowed. I couldn't help it. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
  • I would have stabbed Frank too, had I not needed a ride home. Besides, I was wearing my favorite shirt and didn't want to deal with dry cleaning it again. "Can we just forget it?"
  • "Yea, fine. Just ignore me just like you always do." Frank glared at the empty road. God I wanted to kill him. "Yea well its not my fault that Stephanie is dead, Alex!" I shouted
  • . It was at times like these, where I considered that, as the driver, and as a suicidal sociopath, I could just take me and all of my passengers out with one flick of the wheel
  • . It was inevitable. Afterwards, they all thanked me as I paid for the seven course meal for fifty with my ex-wife's credit card. Everyone needs to go to hell on a full stomach.
  • We all said our goodbyes and I got into my car. As I was driving home, I hit a semi and died. I descended into hell. "Welcome," Satan said politely. He was a pretty chill dude.
  • In fact, Satan and I played Mahjong on Friday nights and went to the country club on Mondays and, pretty soon, I forgot that I had died.
  • Satan had a wicked slice, his blades were razor sharp, & he'd swear up devils & brimstone when he landed in a sandtrap but on the whole I found him & death amiable golf partners
  • Yes, Death & Satan--fantastic golf partners. But when Sin joined us to make up a four, we hit trouble. She would move her golf ball with her toe when we weren't looking. Finally, I
  • shouted oppa Gangnam style! *music plays in the background* oppa oppa oppa oppa Gangnam style AAAAAAAA!!!! Sexy lady! oppa oppa oppa Gangnam style!


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