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Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a pretty regular guy I

  • Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a pretty regular guy I suppose. I mean, I was the Ratgod there for a while and my imaginary friend Jack and I did kill Kennedy. But I had to give up being Ratgod
  • . It was too much work, sure I was Lord of all Rats, but who could I talk too? Most topics involved cheese, trash and fear of cats. Plans for World Domination were held back.
  • Temporarily. I was no narcissist, as evidenced by lice in my hair and cockroaches in my apartment, but I needed to get my Ratgod mojo back. Jack, my NOTimaginary friend
  • , my bestest friend Jack suggested I enslave the roaches. With my roach army I'd subjugate the rats & reinstate my Ratgodly title. But first I needed to take out Bigroach.
  • I attempted to reason with the roaches. "Bigroach and Paparoach are false prophets," I said. "I am Ratgod. You must reclaim the Holy Sewer for Me." Suddenly, the Cucaracha Banditos
  • came swaggering forth in their ermine and white leather trenchcoats, taking position under the feeble shafts of light. I expected a dance number, but they issued a manifesto:
  • No Dance Numbers tonight under Penalty of Death! The Penalty of Death part was overkill I think. I, being a loyal subject had never knowingly broke the rules. Well, there was
  • one rule I broke, and I broke-ta-did that shit so good you know. I pulled a slice of bread from the middle of the king's loaf, I didn't care, i wanted the soft middle and when the
  • fat bitch magistrate complained, I just told the whore that "nobody misses a slice from a cut loaf". Which shut the whoring adulterator and the King up but good. Stupid royalists.
  • Yes, I was visiting the "Royal Land of Yeast and Flour" and I was having fun, but damnit, with this customer service, I'm not giving the WonderBread Factory 5 stars on YELP.
Started
2011-09-21 19:02:22
Finished
2012-09-12 08:36:44

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Sep 13 2012 @ 02:38

    The backstories: My bestest friend http://foldingstory.com/c5n89/ The Ratgod http://foldingstory.com/31cba/
  2. Avatar

    Zetawilk Sep 13 2012 @ 03:10

    We're going to need a Wiki soon.
  3. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Oct 28 2012 @ 07:41

    Just stumbled on this. It seems reality follows Foldingstory fiction: http://www.backyardbrains.com/DIYRoboroach.aspx

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