Rrrriing rrring. Click. "Hi there, Phil

Rrrriing rrring. Click. "Hi there, Phil here from Homecon. Do you have a quick minute?" "I don't own time. It's a river." ".. greeaat. How many persons live in your household?" "
Four, oh wait, does that include pets? I mean ten." "Actually, we..." "Hold on, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ON THE PHONE! QUIT TEASING YOUR SISTER WITH THE PYTHON! now where were we?"
"I believe you were ordering gnomes to work on the garden," "Ah yes! Ten gnomes, these pythons keep eating my workers and, oh, they just ate my daughter. I told those kids!"
"Sir, the pythons are invading the castle," the squire said, scrabbling in and jamming the door. The king took up arms, and started to beat the window open with them.
"Sir, give me back my arms!" the squire cried. "Not until you learn to keep your hands to yourself," said the king. "*cough* My daughter." The pythons burst through the main gate
and grabbed hold of the king. "Get us on the plane" said the pythons.
But the king would not allow the snakes to enter. He pointed to a sign and said, "You have to be THIS tall to go on the plane ride, sorry."
The snakes merged and turned into a huge dragon. The monster leaned forward and swallowed the king. Then grabbed the plane and threw it against the castle. All was left in ruins.
That was, until a mighty warrior rose from the ashes, eager to seek revenge. Armed with only a spear in one hand and a copy of Taylor Swift's 1989 in the other, he
Dyed his hair red and said, "gotcha!"

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