The bear came out at night, only

  • The bear came out at night, only
  • two things stood between us: the dumpster and my Glock 9. Ursa Major my ass. Live free or
  • live in a trash can, as my pappy always used to say, so I threw away the Glock and hopped into the dumpster. Hiding from
  • these thugs had become tiresome. Sure, there were plenty of diversions amid the trash but I didn't need that gun here
  • in plain sight. I would much rather have the chica's be in plain sight wearing nothing but their
  • headbands and drinking barrel-aged cocktails while sunning their glistening, perfect, naked bodies.
  • Carpe diem. In search of liquid courage, I opened a Narragansett tall boy and drained the can in two gulps. Time to
  • face the demonic old witch. As she turned, I sneered"Mother, why must you always
  • kiss me goodnight? You know physical touch is not my 'love language'." Just spend time with me!
  • For Christ's sake!


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