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Perry White settled in at his desk at the

  • Perry White settled in at his desk at the Daily Planet and poured himself a stiff bourbon -- three fingers, no ice. He thought about how he had pimped out Lois to get the story of
  • that mystery behind Jimmy Olson. Why was he never around when Superman was out? Perry gave Lois a slinky dress and told her to get nearer that boy reporter. Lois tossed it in the
  • fire-breathing dragon's mouth and ran. He did not want
  • anything to do with dragons' mouths, fire-breathing or not. This dated back to an incident as a child when he'd been caught inside a giant animatronic dragon, and had to escape by
  • being electronically defecated. Unfortunately the animatronic dragon was in mid-flight about a mile off the ground. Feces-caked and free-falling his death was assured but
  • unmourned. The villagers came to collect the dung from the dragon carcas, for fuel of course. The destiny of the drgaon itself, all metal, wires, and gears was much debated. Ev
  • en the source of the dead Dragon's dung was in dispute. The village zoologist claimed that mechanical dragons can't produce dung.But the village engineer said it was a dung-fueled
  • mouth driven by a dung-filled brain that would say something so stupid. The village engineer said even the village idiot knows if you're going to build a mechanical dragon,
  • you have to use non-flammable materials. "Asbestos would be best," he said, chewing contemplatively on a stalk of wheat, "but do we really want poisonous fire-breathing dragons?"
  • A silly question. The dragons' wisdom, despite their formidable abilities, proved them adept at solving our menial economic problems, so long as we dressed in food costumes.

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