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I finally understood toothpaste for dinner.

  • I finally understood toothpaste for dinner. It is still not my favorite but in a pinch it will do. I had a list to do. I woke in a room in my bed. My Sun in the sky. My earth under
  • the floorboards, pulsating strangely. I ignored it and reviewed my to-do list for the day. Buy more toothpaste - I'd have to do that before dinner, else I'd have nothing to eat.
  • So I went and bought my favorite flavor of toothpaste (grape smoothie - it's makes a great dinner), but once I got back the pulsating floorboards had exploded and revealed a
  • pes! They were taking over our planet! Racing upstairs, I found a row of them facing my bathroom mirror, frenziedly brushing with my grape toothpaste. I drove the apes to drug reha
  • b only to find a sign on the door: “REHAB CLOSED DUE TO EXCESS APES.” Where could I take MY car full of them? To a shooting range? No, too cruel. In the end I drove the apes to
  • their uncle's house & dropped them off. "Hey! Wait! You can't drop these apes off here!" he shouted as I began to drive off. "I'm the monkeys' uncle, not the apes!" Oops. My bad.
  • I walked across the street, then I heard an ice cream truck. The ice cream truck parked right in front of me. I walked up to the man inside and asked for a simple order.
  • The ice cream man looked at me like I was crazy. "Look Buddy," he said, "Alls we got is strawberry eclair sundaes and popsicles what look like Spongbob. We aint got simple."
  • So I screamed at him, and you screamed at him, and SpongeBob screamed at him, and the ice cream man started melting. "Can I speak to your manager?" I yelled to the ice cream man.
  • We watched in disgust as the ice cream man softened (chocolate, vanilla, and nuts churning around his torso); Then he opened the freezer and climbed in to lay down with Good Humor.
Started
2018-04-22 20:46:51
Finished
2020-05-23 12:40:03

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    TarotGuy May 23 2020 @ 12:47

    That ending reminds me a bit of "The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar" by Edgar Allan Poe!
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity May 23 2020 @ 15:14

    https://vocaroo.com/4LisUZDlt2D
  3. Avatar

    LordVacuity May 23 2020 @ 16:20

    another version: https://voca.ro/bGpRnGvTFto

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