"And the nominations are.... Invasion of

  • "And the nominations are.... Invasion of the Bee Girls, The Brave Little Toaster, and
  • Spice World." *clap clap golf-clap* "The Oscar for best implementation of Unified Field Theory goes to.. The Brave Little Toaster." Toaster waddled to the stage with Blanky in tow.
  • Toaster forgot to unplug himself and blanky caught fire. Blanky screamed, piercing, shrieking, driving visions of agony into the Oscar crowd's hearts. Toaster stamped on Blanky's
  • tattered, smoking remains. "Noooo!" a little boy's voice screamed from the back. It was Linus. The crowd parted respectfully to let him through. The Brave Little Toaster sobbed.
  • He never had wanted to do this, but was groomed into it by his late grandma, who happened to have been the only known case of a human-beaver hybrid. It hadn't always been easy
  • being green, or being a well-behaved beaver-boy, for that matter. His grandmother had unknowingly wed an amphibian-man. "Oh dam," she said when he finally divulged his secret.
  • Still chuckling from her beaver pun, she waddled back into the den and sat on her chair. "It's fixable, no problem." He gulped.
  • This meant he had to work on his days off. Even beavers need a day off, he politely said. Larry, Curly and Moe showed up and were paid with a dinner consisting of pigs' feet
  • and beef entrail soup. Iggy Pop and his Stooges didn't get much better but at least their waitress was from FLA and knew how to walk on the wild side.
  • In this moment they realized the trick to life was not to be upset at the many ditches in the short road to death, but to accept them as a part of your life along with the hills.


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