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there once was a bear

  • there once was a bear
  • named m32. He didn't know it, but humans were tracking him with a radio collar since he'd entered the country. His nightly escapades were reported in the tabloids. His honey fetish
  • was nothing compared to his savage lethargy. Pooh Bear heard a noise. Behind a bush was a young graduate student taking notes. Pooh said, "Oh my, how long have you been watching
  • "Too long." groused the student who looked up boredly at the bear. "Why in the freakin world would you go into the woods and get a jar stuck on your face, how is that possible?"
  • The bear retorted, "same way you always get your hand stuck in the Pringles can! Now get this jar off my nose!" The student realized that the bear was on to her and would reveal
  • her panties to her classmates if she didn't help him. She grabbed both sides of the jar and began to tug. It was stuck so tight on the bear's nose that when she finally freed it sh
  • at tered into a thousand tiny pieces. Luckily the jar was made from sugar glass, which distracted the now free bear long enough for us to run for it (quickly grabbing the panties)
  • to wear as a cute hat during our escape to paradise. We made beautiful jewellery out of sugar glass to sell at the local markets. A splendid collection of
  • sugar jewelry was worn by celebrities at the Academy Awards that year, transforming our small business into a multi-million dollar industry. Jennifer Hudson became our spokesperson
  • when she "came out" of the sugar closet and Weight Watchers' denounced her. But all things work together for those who love the lard. And may I say, "Success is Sweet!"
Started
2012-06-15 16:55:26
Finished
2013-04-10 11:56:50

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    sensedatum Apr 10 2013 @ 12:45

    "savage lethargy" is the best phrase I've heard all day.

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