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The moment one learns english complications

  • The moment one learns english complications set in. It was a statement my Uncle Balthus made the day he was sentenced for plaigiarism. Later I found out that even those words were
  • copy-pasted straight from Wikipedia. The tragic part is that just after my Uncle got the chair for plagiarism it was quantitatively shown that every possible combination of words h
  • e ever uttered were neurolinguistically determined & inevitable. But sure, try to get a jury to understand that. This wasn't three-note chords, and those simpletons fried my Uncle
  • Tom's Cabin which was an original signed by Harriet Beecher Stowe. It said, "To Barnaby, Lot's of Luck." The simpletons burnt book before I could get to the Antique Roadshow
  • , darn it anyway. I was running out of time,but I really wanted to take something to the Antique Roadshow. Rushing out, I just grabbed my Uncle Ernie's coffee mug & made up a story
  • about how Ernie always drinks his morning coffee out of it (he's actually a tea guy. Shh!). "You'll see that it says '#1 Uncle'," I told the appraiser. She noticed "Made in Taiwan"
  • tattooed on my forehead. I blushed. "Youthful indiscretion," I lied. The appraiser frowned and examined the #1 Uncle mug, and then Ernie. She shook her head. "He's not #1."
  • And as his eyes drifted behind the girl, he saw a hat, blue and white, with "I'm #1" Sitting on the table. Hastily taped to the sides was two cup holders with cans of soda.
  • He drank the two cans of soda.
  • burp.

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