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I was loitering around, then out of nowhere,

  • I was loitering around, then out of nowhere, these freaking pears came rolling down the hallway. There were too many for my dodge ball skills to handle.
  • but not enough of them to make a sandwich. So I jumped over the pears, landing directly on my face. the pears then started to roll towards me again.
  • After multiple pear experiments, I concluded that in whichever direction I moved, the pears followed. Over time, the pears became more aggressive. For example, at the fruit packing
  • plant workers came to fear the violence of the pears at harvest time. After a nasty incident with a gang of rowdy Forelle hybrids, Shop Steward Marta Appletits called for a strike
  • . "We gotta go out on a limb here!" Marta Appletits shouted into her megaphone. "PEARS GO HOME! PEARS GO HOME!" The others picked up the chant & the picket fence line formed.
  • As the picket line advanced, the Pears slowly started to go home. Marta Appletits' plan seemed to be working until a brave Pear tackled her into a semi. Bleeding on the road, Marta
  • ate the pear. It was yummy.
  • I then ate 1 piece of cake, 1 ice cream cone, 1 pickle, 1 slice of swiss cheese, 1 slice of salami, 1 lolipop, 1 piece of cherry pie, 1 sausage, 1 cupcake, and 1 slice of mellon.
  • That added up to 10 hellish hours of indigestion, 10 belches that shook the neighbor's foundations, 10 chin folds, 10 pounds of additional flab, 10 bouts of sugar-induced hallucina
  • tion, 10 cataclysmic farts, 10 days of borborygmus that sound like a possession & 10 years of steady income from repeat performances at gastroeneterology conferences.
Started
2016-01-20 14:37:50
Finished
2016-01-29 17:39:16

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Gibber Jan 29 2016 @ 19:31

    I learned the term "borborygmus" in 1998. Since then that knowledge has lain unused until today.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jan 30 2016 @ 11:44

    You can use it once more here: http://foldingstory.com/vc62v/ I wonder if borborygmus could be considered onomatopoeic... bor-bor-bor-borborygmus-us-us

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