69

"No really, Clancy, pick the sword. It's

  • "No really, Clancy, pick the sword. It's right there by your left foot. Be careful. It's alive. It knows where we're going next. No you can't ask it for wishes."
  • "Awww," Clancy whined. "Are you sure? What's the point of a magic sword that doesn't grant wishes?" He bent to lift the heavy blade and jumped as an ethereal voice spoke to him.
  • "Halt! Only a virgin may wield me." "Does looking at dirty pictures count?" asked Clancy worriedly. The magic sword bowed deep:"I am thine to command." "Yay! Your first assignment
  • is to get laid. That means having intercourse -. Hey I might be a virgin, Clancy growled, but I know what getting laid means you stupid sword! Where do you suggest I find a partner
  • to engage in such activities?" I glanced at the floor, then back up at him. "How about the person right in front of you?" Clancy took two large strides toward me and I was
  • taken aback. Clancy grabbed my wrist, my waist, and my attention. He pulled me on to the dance floor. The band hit a savage beat. My soul was lost to the Tango.
  • Later, in the tub, Clancy broached the subject of using butter. I can't say I was surprised but I felt it was too early to be considering the Butter Option after only one tango. I
  • personally felt that "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" would be more appropriate, anyway, since I could not fathom that I would ever be in that position again. But Clancy insisted
  • We lube up the hadron collider and penetrate a black hole loaded with full fat butter. It was worth a go. It was as close as we could get to fucking the universe itself.
  • The whole plan backfired, however. After we penetrated the black hole and climaxed, we wanted a cigarette and a nap. The black hole had other ideas, wanting to be held and cuddled.
Started
2018-05-27 01:39:17
Finished
2019-12-31 18:04:58

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    LordVacuity Dec 31 2019 @ 18:56

    Yikes! Nobody likes a clingy blackhole.
  2. Avatar

    pinky Jan 14 2020 @ 03:58

    Knarf! This one was pure fold channeling genius! LordVacuity - (re: Your comment) God I wish I'd said that! Brilliant wit.

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