The manager wrapped the tape measure around

  • The manager wrapped the tape measure around my waist. "I'm afraid you're too skinny to be a mall Santa. Better luck next year." I knew I should've eaten more than a salad and
  • boiled goat's milk. I deserve to be Mall Santa this year and the next. I love kids. I love them a lot. More than a lot. I mean a lot a lot. No body loves children more than I but
  • I’m not putting on that clown suit.You don’t have to apprentice as a clown before you can be a Mall Santa! Clowns creep kids out.Remember what happened last week at Timmy’s birthda
  • y party? He's still traumatized by the 'disappearing snake' trick. What's that? So what if I wear size 30 shoes! That doesn't "make me a natural". Hmm? Hypnosis cures coulrophobia?
  • Funny dude, but he should never have been president.
  • Instead he should have ran away with the circus and joined the local freak show. With tenderness he remembered how he could have been known as the one and only...
  • master juggler, there was nothing he could do now. The times had passed and he had learned to live with this regrets, life as he knew had changed and he to approve it.
  • But how does one approve of obsolescence? How does one approve being cast adrift on the tarmac wastes, a homeless juggler who once dazzled audiences with babies and chainsaws?
  • One does it by zipping up their flight suit, jumping on the next donated C130 and meeting the national flying circus in Latvia for another sell out performance; realizing that
  • pants were optional for the event, a good time was had by all!


  1. SlimWhitman Jul 11 2015 @ 17:40

    Sky diving baby & chainsaw juggling pantless clowns are always a big hit in Latvia, Priekā Priekā!

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