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I am an imposter. I can admit that now, but

  • I am an imposter. I can admit that now, but on that fateful Chrstmas Eve so long ago, ringing my bell & smiling benevolently at anyone willing to drop a few coins in my red kettle,
  • I couldn't afford for anybody to think otherwise. The truth is, I am not actually Santa Claus' brother, as I told everyone in order to cheat them out of their money.
  • I was shocked how credible people were. The gullible will never be in short supply. "Joe Kringle," I would introduce myself, "brother of Kris." It was addicting, and lucrative.
  • I kept the ruse going for awhile. I was Joe Kringle, Santa's brother. While I was pan frying some calamari, there was a noise on the roof.
  • I put the calamari on simmer and grabbed my baseball bat. Santa, my brother, knew of my ID theft. I swung down on the head poking out of the fire place and clocked his lawyer.
  • As my squid rings transformed from deliciously tender to a soggy, overcooked mess; my bat cracked across the man's skull and he tumbled out of the chimney, soot everywhere.
  • He pointed a quivering finger at my squid rings and quavered, "Saturn!" I looked at the squid rings, back at sooty man, then back to the squid rings. It all made perfect sense and
  • stuff in HIS mind, maybe, but certainly not to me. I quickly dialed the nearest insane asylum to have him carted away. But when they came to my house, they carted ME away instead!
  • The Nurse, Misses Biggs called me Squigly. I think she was taunting me. My inky tuds & tendency to eat my children notwithstanding, I felt it was an epithet undeserved, but Nurse B
  • iggs would live to regret that unfortunate appellation for a very long time. "Nurse Biggs, I just want you to know that wherever you go, I will be there in the inky shadows."
Started
2013-12-14 08:19:38
Finished
2015-03-24 19:13:29

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