He was certain of only two things. First,

He was certain of only two things. First, he has owned precisely twenty-four pillows in his lifetime. Second,
he was allergic to their contents: down,cotton,merino,cashmere,angora,alpaca,mohair,llama,chinchilla, vicuna,guanaco,muskox,bison,yak,camel,chiengora,pishmana,squirrel,bear,fox,aar
dvark and banana slug all caused moderate to severe reactions ranging from hives to anaphylactic shock. His clothes had to be made out of his own body hair, which thankfully was
gortex, so it breathed but kept him dry. He was REI Man. His entire body had been rebuilt from REI items by ski-bums who were REI stockers in the off season. His chest was a cliff
bars stitched together with deer sinew. His legs were kayak paddles wrapped with nylon ropes and carabiners. REI Man, his head was made of
gore-tex, an orange whistle nose, signal mirror eyes & LED teeth, & his job was keeping trekkers safe on the trails. As REI Man finished a swig of propane, some boy scouts came by
a lost satellite phone. The satellite phone was crying because his brother a GPS had run ahead along the hiking trail and he could not keep up with him. REI Man and the boy scouts
Tried to find the renegade GPS by waving the magic wand. The fairies, dressed in yellow lederhosen and green shirts, could masquerade as flowers. This was deliberate. The elves
felt that the fairies had grabbed all the pretty costumes and left them with the dreary ones that made them look like manure and toadstools. Blippo the Bland decided that he wanted
Not to be associated with so droll a motley crew so he made his way over to Funky Town but he found nobody would take him there. He only managed to get to Pound Town & that was OK.

Started: 2012-05-18 03:29:53
Finished: 2016-12-24 00:39:53

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