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I like to discipline my dog with rolled up

  • I like to discipline my dog with rolled up editions of the Economist. I think it makes him
  • wonder why I named him "Keynes" in the first place. I mean it is a bit ironic, but what can I tell you, he's a dog, not
  • a doctor dammit! You'd think people would realize it when they saw his floppy ears and saggy
  • jowls. But now all anyone wanted to do was rub his tummy or pat him on the head, and all he wanted to do was
  • thump his leg like a dog does when being scratched on the belly. Why was that so wrong? It wasn't even as bad as wanting
  • to take the cat by the tail and swing it, hard, round and round your head until you launch it deep into the backyard.
  • At least that's what I've always done to get rid of bad luck. And that trick has worked every time but one. The time I
  • dropped my watch in the toilet. Not only was it wedged down tight in the U-pipe but
  • i had to dig through a hot brown mess with no tp in sight. This first date was not going to end well. So,
  • I did what any man would do, I stayed in the bathroom until the entire place cleared out. Then cried myself to sleep.

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