Ned was a country hobo and slept on a bed

  • Ned was a country hobo and slept on a bed of thistledown, woke to the morning lark's song, washed in a mountain stream, and begged for handouts from the forest fauna.

  • But NYPD didn't see it the same way. They came down hard on Ned's plan for sustainably living off the land in Central Park. Ned was just sitting down to a fresh pot of foliage stew

  • with acorn bread when there was a knock at the door of his hut. "Come on out, Ned" growled Officer McMahan. "We know you're in there, and we know you've been planting the park

  • with oak trees sans permit from the city or the Druids. There are procedures to be followed, you know!" Ned thought kindly of Office McMahan and listened to the Wyrd before he re

  • -swung his axe and took Officer McMahan's left leg off. The Wyrd slapped his hands together and the leg spawned more legs. They slithered toward Ned. Everytime he swung the axe

  • more legs re-spawned. It was like a human starfish. Coming after him still, McMahan eerily sang "I bet you want the goodies! Bet you've thought about it!" Running for his life, Ned

  • fled deeper into the subterranean tunnels. McMahan's transformation into a starfish-being neared completion. Ned frantically searched his bag for weapons, but he had brought only

  • soft pliable items suitable for a baby to play with. The McMahan/starfish propelled itself slowly up the tunnel towards him! Ned pulled a natural rubber teething ring from his bag.

  • He always kept a natural rubber teething ring in his bag. He fancied himself a Macgyver type and kept strange items accordingly, always trying to turn them to some useful thing

  • or other, but his contraptions always came out useless. 300 years later, these bizarre ad-hoc devices are considered art treasures, and are now on display in the Lunar Museum.



  1. SlimWhitman Dec 05 2015 @ 07:16

    "Next, the crypts of Copernicus City". The lunar bot floated off waving its flag gently and I was left wondering what became of the long dead Hobo artist Ned at the hands of his nemesis, Starfish/McMahan...

  2. jayursus Dec 13 2015 @ 21:04

    The story begs to be told: http://foldingstory.com/7l6ky/

  3. BlastedHeath Jan 08 2016 @ 20:30

    Thanks, jaybear! I didn't realize this was the predecessor to the Starfish-McMahan one. :-)

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