His very own War of the Roses started over

His very own War of the Roses started over the thermostat. He'd bump it down a notch, she'd bump it up two. After she (accidentally?) mixed in a red sweater with his whites, he

"accidentally left the toiletseat up and that night he heard a splash followed by a squeegielike sound. She was too proud and angry to ask for help. He grabbed his iphone and

rubbed it on his taint so that he could smell his musk while he talked on his Iphone. His wife came in after falling into the toilet and said

"Dear, it sure smells in here, what is going on...?" then she fell over in surprise, staring at us, she looked in horror

She couldn't believe that we were holding a dead bird in our hands. I was oversensitive about dead animals, but I figured she could figure out what was wrong with it.

"It's dead, you fool. That's what's wrong with it." She always knew how to get right to the heart of the matter. I tossed it onto the fire and asked her the important question,

"Well hell just how do you tell the live ones from the dead ones then?" "Well to start with the live ones don't stink!" Good point!, but with our boots off who could tell? Alvin

started smelling each and every one of them. For every living one, he shot. After they were all shot, they finally found their boots on one of the bodies. However, the dead were

restless. First the eyes fluttered and opened on the corpses. Then the extremities wriggled, and finally the dead were clumsily ambling towards them,

next thing they knew they were smack dab in the middle of a Thriller music video! How exciting!