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"Blow out the candle and make a wish, granny!"

  • "Blow out the candle and make a wish, granny!" we said. Granny looked down at the single candle in the Tastykake Chocolate Junior with disdain. She made her wish. The house rumbled
  • and without another word the table began to lift slowly from the floor. The Tastykake seemed to take on a life of it's own as it
  • became the chocolate home of Susan Powter's soul. She'd been such a hypocrite in life, pushing a diet while secretly eating naughty snacks, that God forced her to live in a Tastyka
  • yak houseboat. She had to constantly row to stay afloat, while simultaneously watching others eat scrumptious meals, for all eternity. She struck a desperate deal with
  • Sisyphus, 2 weeks a year pushing boulders up the mountain for 2 weeks of the yak houseboat, but after one week watching yaks dine on eachother's scrumptious backsides, Sisyphus
  • slept in the corner, and considered the potential of walking into the mist, beyond the bait boxes and littered decks of his punishment. Balance, he thought, balance is
  • not one of my best traits. He could barely even walk and chew gum at the same time. He decided to take a step foward, but began to stumble. He noticed something shiny on the ground
  • and everything was ok
  • except for the giant green mutated hamster in the bathtub, but that wasn't really important right now. At least everyone was safe. Well, almost everyone, but the police didn't
  • know of the dangers of giant green hamster vomit... Radioactive, toxic, carcinogenic and mutagenic... You name it, it'd probably have that property. As you'd expect, they died.

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