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How many times does it take for you to understand?

  • How many times does it take for you to understand?
  • About 3. Maybe more if it's, you know, really hard or something.
  • I rapped my knuckles against his head. Yup. Just what I thought. Hard as granite. I chuckled. I took him for granite, I guess. My boyfriend sat there stone-faced. He never understo
  • od how fractured our relationship had become. I had an old prospector appraise him. The 49er said, "Dear,your pet Boyfriend Rocky's hollow, a diamond in the rough. This here chisel
  • is a real gem and might just help to smooth things out between y'all. That there boyfriend of yours is a real chip off the old block. You dig what I'm saying?" said the prospector.
  • She tugged at her beard, which grew by the second. "I reckon'," she answered, though her mind was elsewhere -- specifically in a tiny clay pot by a straw hut on the remote island
  • where the US detonated some A-bombs. She was thinking about how she'd eaten a lot of sea snail from the beach. Perhaps that's why she a a giant muscular green neck.
  • Or maybe Hulkian anger got stuck in her throat. She thought to ask a scientist; dozens were strewn about the beach with radiation burns. "My neck is huge. Is escargot safe? Hello?"
  • But the scientist was caught up in his own problems: would the radiation make his penis larger or smaller? And, will the New York Knicks move their franchise to North Korea?
  • As he pondered this, the experiment drastically malfunctioned and caused a rift in the space time continuum. A giant squirrel was summoned and destroyed New York. No more Knicks.

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