Mr. Wong secretly funded production of his

Mr. Wong secretly funded production of his Chinese fire drill table which rotated every 5 min so every person sat next to every other person during a dinner party with Mrs. Wong's

boss. This elaborate setup cost millions to make, and so Mr Wong had a dark secret: he was secretly the greatest thief in all of china. His latest job had been to steal the

Dalai Lama's XBOX. The greatest thief in all of China had just one minor problem. He would not shut the hell up. Even on his burglaries he would chatter incessantly.

It was then that the planned robbery of the Dalai Lama's XBOX took an unexpected turn. The "greatest thief in China" was quietly assassinated and replaced by George Clooney.

No longer was the title "Greatest Thief In China" but now the "Caniving Clooney of China" , because we all know...That George Clooney wanted the XBOX for himself.

Clooney had come to the realization that without realizing it, he and Brad Pitt had been laying the foundations of a reintroduction of the "On the Road" movies with him as Crosby &

Brad Pitt as Dr. Sardonicus. Bubbles formed everywhere they went and they dined with the ancient scribes to decipher the code. Ravens flew overhead and dropped leaflets about how

useless it was to try and decipher the code. The ravens huddled together on nearby rooftops and snickered at their attempts. They hated those pompous ravens so much.

But every time they tried to shoot at the ravens, they would poop all over their windows and cars and then laugh and jeer as they cleaned up the mess. Clearly, the ravens had taken

wing and flown out of range. Col. Corbin, lead raven, cawed, "We need to move quickly, lest they Corvus up for supper." They dropped a farewell gift and got the flock out of there.