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"Where's the remote?" she asked dully, right

  • "Where's the remote?" she asked dully, right at the end of the 4th quarter. I glared at her, but extended my retractable arm to change the channel. I had to obey.
  • She adds bromide to my tea which chemically reacts in my amygdala to produce involuntary responses in my remote control arm whenever she barks a command. I try to hide my teacup bu
  • t she barked and my remote controlled arm made me slap myself. She just stood there looking at me, panting. I said, "No, no. Millie, that's a bad dog." Bark! Slap! Millie jumped up
  • and continued barking,meaning I continued(unwillingly,mind you)slapping myself.Since Milly had swallowed the remote tomy metallic arm,if I got her to vomit,the slapping could cease
  • and this would have worked, but for the Giant Slapping hand of Allah, which reached down and continued to slap me long after the metallic arm had been deactivated. Now I had to
  • change my identity: get out my blue wig, nerdy red glasses, and my fat suit--you know, the one that makes me look like I weigh 600 kilos--and make the Giant Slapping hand of Allah
  • shake the hand of Mr. Hand. My oversized impersonation of Milhouse Van Houten brought all the geeks to the yard, and they're like, "It's better than Marge."
  • Mr. Hand and his cousin, Mr. Invisible Hand, served tea and crumpets. The moose heads on the wall were all made by Milhouse Van Houten when he was a taxidermist. Marge was absent.
  • Well...not really...Marge was there, hidden behind Mr. Invisible Hand. One of Milhouse Van Houten's prized moose heads--the one he stole from the Nixon Museum--was missing.
  • Marge let out an anxious "Mmmmm" before steeling her resolve and jumping out from behind Mr Hand. "Milhouse, I'm taking you home." "Uh. Okay, Mrs Simpson" said a downcast Milhouse.
Started
2013-07-05 13:15:07
Finished
2017-11-05 07:16:09

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    MadWorld Nov 05 2017 @ 13:55

    So...even though Mr. Invisible Hand couldn't be seen, he was there...and Marge couldn't be seen because she stood behind Mr. Invisible Hand...therefore, she, too, was invisible...but there. Reminds me of... Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there He wasn’t there again today I wish, I wish he’d go away... When I came home last night at three The man was waiting there for me But when I looked around the hall I couldn’t see him there at all!
  2. Avatar

    Woab Nov 06 2017 @ 13:16

    Wait... you can hide behind an invisible person?

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