After attempting several time-tested solutions,

After attempting several time-tested solutions, the lion tamer decided he better take drastic action to release the
pressure. His apparatus failed. Again. Oil now spewed higher into the air. The sea lion barked in despair.
Those bastards at BP had finally done it. After years of skirting safety regulations and turning a blind eye to warnings
they finally got their shit together. And not a moment too soon. If they hadn't the Gulf of Mexico might look like
the mud mask my old lady smears on her wrinkled face each night. Certainly a fright beyond
even the imagination of Steven King, but I was determined to Man-Up. I gathered up all my courage and went for it.
I peed as hard and as fast as I could. And...I liked it. The stream was strong and yellow, smelled like acid and rain.
The ground was wet and mossy and the misty breeze sent tingles all down my arms and legs. Who would have thought that
the feel of something so wet and slimy could feel so damned good?? I let the sensations wash over me as they pulled
me in all directions. I was drowning. I knew it. I can't breathe. I woke up to find my cat, Simba, sleeping on my face. It was only a dream.

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