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"Ichthyomancy and idioglossia are ignotum

  • "Ichthyomancy and idioglossia are ignotum per ignotius" Uncle Ichabod used to say, but he suffered from latent Luciferous Logolepsy. Aunt Ida suffered from Involuntary Idiolalia.
  • And I, I suffered from lowly...pink-eye. All my relatives had some awesomely esoteric disease, all I had was a common infection I got from riding the bus. My family ostracized me
  • and disowned me. I had really tried my hardest to contract some flesh eating parasite. I even took the risk of peeing in the Amazone river standing waist-deep in the water. Pink ey
  • ed Amazon women stood on the banks of the river, observing my strange behavior. I waved to them & tried to explain how I was actually trying to coax some piranhas into my pants.
  • They understood completely when I showed them why and hurriedly got to the business of shoving piranhas at my crotch. As the piranhas did what they do best a wave of relief
  • which was first of all gentle, became a giant tsunami of pirahnas surfing the colossal wave. "It wasn't my fault!" I cried to anyone who would listen, but they wouldn't believe me.
  • "Look,"the man in the front said."I dont know what you did, but whatever you did, I'm sure the punishment Krammy gave you is well deserved!" The wave of piranhas was getting closer
  • and my mind was racing for an excuse that would make them untie me. "Listen!" I screamed "If you leave me to the piranhas like this, you will never know what Krammy wrote about me!
  • It worked. Justin turned back and looked questioningly at Eve. "Should we...?" Eve had paused her back still to me. Then she turned slowly around as an evil grin stole across
  • her face, meandering towards a slow amble until it stopped, lopsided, to curl into a Downwards Dog, to contemplate the forbidden fruit looming to fill all of history to come.
Started
2012-01-09 18:26:48
Finished
2015-04-08 22:08:39

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    zxvasdf Apr 08 2015 @ 22:11

    I assume Murielschipp was actually contemplating a visit of the candiru, which is show of horrors in its own right; piranhas, in comparison, in terms of short term agony, is a wave of relief.
  2. Avatar

    Krammy Apr 09 2015 @ 07:10

    Thanks for making me into a character, haha.

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