It was a dark and stormy night, and the biggest

  • It was a dark and stormy night, and the biggest and fastest spaceship in the world was being overrun by chickens.
  • And now I, Captain Kirk, sat bound against my will by these space chickens. The Starship Enterprise was overrun with 'em, under the command of Poultree, the coolest, most feared
  • Poultree shoved her strangely pointy breasts in the general direction of Captain Kirk's nose. Sweat beaded his forehead but he would not succumb to her fowl advances. The bindings
  • on his pants felt real snug. Captain Kirk was chicken. He'd been feathering his nest by skimming the Enterprise's coffee budget. Poultree henpecked Kirk until he finally cracked
  • And said he had to buy coffee before Spock woke up. Whole Foods sent some Intelligentsia coffee, just what Dr. Spock like. Kirk paid cash on delivery. 3-1/2 years later, Starbucks
  • became a franchise on Vulcan. All the Spocks and Spockettes were the almost happiest Vulcans ever. Which is why Starbucks became illegal. It became part of the Romulan underground
  • economy, to the great dismay of the Romulan Restaurant Association and the High Council. "Senators, we cannot allow Starbucks to contaminate and degrade our proud culture," said
  • Xklk, the Romulan cheif editor of "Romulan Bites" gourmet magazine. So the Romulans decided to evaporate every Starbucks on Earth and in the heavens and insist on Romulan coffee.
  • Romulan coffee is very coursely ground & viscous, think crunchy peanutbutter.They don't use coffee beans though, they use the petrified droppings of the Akaana Boar. Xklk's gourmet
  • brew is not for the faint-hearted. One whiff will make you faint. That explains why it, along with Romulan ale, was banned in numerous places beyond the Cardassian border.


  1. Rebbie Nov 14 2016 @ 18:21

    "Spock Report!"

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