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I came home after getting groceries last

  • I came home after getting groceries last night and there was a seraph with a flaming sword guarding my apartment door. No matter which way I turned, I could not enter. Unsure of
  • what to do I demanded that the seraph let me into my apartment. It proclaimed "This dwelling is now an earthly enclave of heaven. Only eunuchs may enter. You may borrow my gelding
  • tongs and give me your testicles. Cunningly, I handed over Ikea meatballs instead. The Seraph looked puzzled, "Three?" it said. Oops. "Alright, you may enter the apartment of heave
  • nly yard long PixieStix" I gingerly walked into the apt filled w/the sugary candy. The Seraph shut the door &turned on the fog machine. "What happens next?" I just wanted the candy
  • gummy rat I saw teasing me in the front window. The Seraph winked and telepathically told me of something greater than the gummy rat & giant pixiestix ... a talking swedish fish.
  • The red Swedish Fish wiggled his tail fins at me. Once he saw that I was paying attention, he said I was tripping and that I should stop dropping so much acid. So I ate him.
  • Mmmmm, delicious those Swedish fish were. While I was at it I ate the Sour Patch Kids too, their gummy little heads stuck to the roof of my mouth. I saw a double complete rainbow
  • but decided not to reference the popular Internet meme. Life's too short. Instead I let off a small firework, which came to the ground with a disappointing fizz, alarming a passing
  • passed out lady. She's slammed a quart of cheap grocery store rum right when she got to the party and collapsed on a push cart and was passing right by me towards the stairs.
  • She rolled right over my foot, too, but her trundling cart teetered back on the path to the stairs. The cart smashed into the first few steps & her obese body went flying down.
Started
2013-02-27 21:19:09
Finished
2013-05-31 17:07:24

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